Happily Never After: A Murder Mystery

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Written & Directed by Sophie Houseman
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Batavia Players is excited to announce auditions for Happily Never After, an original dark comedy that reimagines familiar fairy tale villain relatives in a sharp, modern, and theatrical world where nothing is quite as it seems.

This production will be appropriate for audiences ages 10+ and will include an element of improvisation for all characters (who are left alive!)

This production blends heightened storytelling, humor, and emotional truth. We are looking for bold actors who are ready to play with tone, language, and character.

Audition Information:

• Auditions will consist of readings from the script. Actors must RSVP in advance to receive sides.
• Character-specific sides will be sent out in early March to those who RSVP.
• No monologue is required unless otherwise specified.

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​Character descriptions can be found below.

Happily Never After explores legacy, power, reputation, and the stories we weaponize. It’s sharp, layered, and self-aware with humor sitting right alongside real stakes.
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If you’re ready to play a character who believes they’re right… even when they aren’t, we’d love to see you audition.

The writer reserves the right to adjust/add/remove any characters, as they deem necessary, before or following auditions.

​Performance Dates:

• May 8th at 6:00 PM
• May 9th at 4:00 PM
• May 10th at 1:00 PM

Audition Dates:

• March 22nd at 6:00 PM
• March 23rd at 6:00 PM

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Character Descriptions

MELORA

• Age: 25 - 45
• Gender: Female (open to interpretation)
• Relative: A legacy figure shaped by royal/magical power politics
• Vibe: Controlled dominance​

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Melora is discipline and ambition refined into elegance. She believes she has earned recognition and that power must be intentional. She speaks with authority and frames harm as necessity. In the narrative, she is the embodiment of the system itself: composed, intelligent, and unwavering. The actor must be magnetic and terrifying without ever tipping into melodrama.
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Audition Side Line:
“I didn’t stumble into power. I studied for it.”

MARGOT

• Age: 20 - 40
• Gender: Female (written that way; open to strong non-traditional casting)
• Relative: The famously cursed-to-sleep princess
• Vibe: High-verbal overthinker​

Margot is the room’s alarm system. She sees patterns before they form and narrates because silence feels dangerous. She is funny, fast, and constantly three steps ahead of the disaster she’s sure is coming. In the narrative, she serves as both commentator and conscience. She is the one who notices the machinery of the night and cannot unsee it. The role requires emotional stamina, comic precision, and the ability to pivot into moral clarity without becoming self-righteous.
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Audition Side Line:
“I don’t talk because I like attention. I talk because if I stop, something terrible usually happens.”

CORAL

• Age: 25 - 45
• Gender: Female (open to interpretation)
• Relative: The sea witch who trades in voices and contracts
• Vibe: Controlled calm
  
  

Coral is patience personified. She doesn’t raise her voice. She adjusts the room. She studies currents instead of splashing. In the narrative, she represents quiet influence and the power of stillness. She rarely wastes energy, and when she speaks, it shifts the temperature. This actor must command space without volume.
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Audition Side Line:
“Everyone prepares for fire. No one plans for water until it’s too late.”

COLETTE

• Age: 20 - 40
• Gender: Female (open to interpretation)
• Relative: The notorious fashion villain who targeted spotted puppies
• Vibe: Stylish chaos
  
  

Colette moves first and thinks later. She deflects with humor and spectacle, but underneath is a young woman terrified she has inherited more than a last name. She oscillates between confidence and self-doubt at high speed. In the narrative, she embodies distraction, spectacle, and the fear of becoming what you hate. This role needs sharp comedic instincts and the ability to turn vulnerability on a dime.

Audition Side Line:
“What if I’m not rescuing them? What if I just like grabbing what’s beautiful first?”

CASSANDRA

• Age: 18 - 35
• Gender: Female (open to interpretation)
• Relative: The tower-obsessed manipulator who discarded her when someone brighter appeared
• Vibe: Grounded realist

Cassandra does not perform ambition. She has lived through being overlooked and decided not to compete for oxygen. She is observant, dry, and emotionally contained. In the narrative, she challenges the assumption that wanting less means being weaker. This actor should play strength through restraint, not volume.

Audition Side Line:
“I didn’t lose. I just stopped trying to win the wrong game.”

GIDEON

• Age: 20 - 40
• Gender: Male (open to interpretation)
• Relative: The boisterous hunter whose ego filled a village tavern
• Vibe: Reformed loud-house kid

Gideon grew up where dominance was currency and chose not to spend it. He is steady, grounded, and surprisingly romantic. In the narrative, he offers an alternative model of strength: deliberate, not explosive. The actor should feel physically present and emotionally generous without becoming soft.
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Audition Side Line:
“I tried being the loudest once. It felt like wearing someone else’s shoulders.”

JONAS

• Age: 18 - 35
• Gender: Open
• Relative: None. He is outside the bloodline mythology.
• Vibe: Earnest disruptor

Jonas enters a room that wasn’t built for him and chooses to stay. He is polite but not submissive. Curious but not naïve. In the narrative, he destabilizes assumptions simply by refusing to accept them as fixed. This actor must radiate sincerity and quiet bravery.
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Audition Side Line:
“You keep calling it tradition. I keep hearing habit.”

ALEXANDER

• Age: 20 - 40
• Gender: Male (open to interpretation)
• Relative: The archetypal “true love” prince, just colder
• Vibe: Polished ambition
  
  

Alexander believes in systems. He believes in structure, hierarchy, and earning one’s place. He is calm, persuasive, and unsettlingly reasonable. In the narrative, he represents the seductive logic of the rules. He does not rant. He convinces. The actor must resist caricature and instead embody someone who truly believes he is right.

Audition Side Line:
“It’s not cruelty if it’s consistent. It’s just order.”

TIM

• Age: 18 - 40
• Gender: Open
• Relative: Suggests lineage of silent henchmen or overlooked shadows
• Vibe: Watchful presence
  
  

Tim speaks rarely, but his silence is active. He observes. He absorbs. When he moves, it matters. In the narrative, he represents those who have always been present but rarely centered. This actor must understand physical storytelling and command attention without dialogue.

Audition Side Line:
(Delivered quietly) “No.”

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